What happens to the wave of emotions that inhabits your body, your mind and your spirit when you first meet someone; that initial spark of tickling flutters, of endless pondering, the daydreaming, the expansion, the awe you are left with in amazement of how you truly feel and connect with this other human that your soul has chosen as a mate.
Is it temporary, like the idea of life? Does it shift and mutate into a different form of love and comfort, does it become dormant, or are we meant to lose that connection with one person in order to start over again with another? Should we be alone with ourselves; are we our own soul mate?
Not everyone has the ability to be monogamous. We believe that we can, but it requires work to stay committed to just one person for the rest of our life.
Why is that?
Why do we have an incredible sense of sureness of our destiny with someone upon our first encounter, and then, a couple of years down the road we blend in with the rest and surrender to the illusion of time to then succumb to the stillness of the comfort of our blended spirits instead of endlessly embracing and cherishing one another like we did in the beginning?
Where has that spark gone and can we ever bring it back to match the beginning of the birth of our relationship? Is it daft to even think that it is possible to stay in true, unconditional love with one person for the rest of our Natural and Spiritual life?
I have the ability to love, unconditionally, everyday, every hour, every minute of mine and my partner’s existence. I do not let challenging moments of life affect me (in a general sense) yet I am deeply affected by the distance that the illusion of time puts in between my relationship and myself. My personality and my genetics bind me to my thought process. I am an over-thinker, overachiever, over-activist, etc…
I do all things in an extreme fashion and it can lead to a self-fulfilled prophecy and a variety of issues and problems within my relationship and I am brave enough to consider and acknowledge those undeniable traits within myself. But that doesn’t excuse the observation that I’ve made based on past relationship experiences that we “give in” to our relationships. We stop trying, we stop learning, we let life get in the way, we let our children affect us, we get lazy and we conform within the walls of our own creation as a partnership and the system is just not working.
Love is a state of being; a feeling….not a choice! If your heart is not feeling for someone anymore, let them go. You can’t force feelings of love into your heart for another. It often happens that love comes and goes for a partner. Relationships are effortless like that between a brother and sister or between a mother and child. It’s purposeful, loving, unconditional and consistent. I hope that someday monogamous relationships can find a common ground among the real meaningful relationships of life but still hold on to that chemical component that ignited the initial reaction of a beautiful relationship to find sustainability as a couple and as journey mates of life.
consciouscourtney 
I am struggling deeply right now. I am having issues with my partner. Issues with him that I know have an impact on how I feel about myself. I feel like I want to crawl into a dark corner. It makes me question if I even know what love is. With the whole subject of monogamy, where because we are so deeply involved with the internet now, does porn, looking at it, lying about it to your partner fall. And then there are my demons like my insecurity about my Breast size ( because of being teased so much in school ) telling me I’m not good enough, that this is something my partner enjoys that I don’t have; making me miserable. It is now that I struggle with being in a relationship. It feels like we have crossed this bridge so many times and no matter how many times i walk over it, it’s always going to reappear in my future. I am exhausted and I cannot truly tell if I have a reason to be upset, or if I’m just looking to let go because I cannot defeat this demon. I can deal with the minor errors in our relationship as none are perfect, but this one thing really affects me. I question if he should be free to look at whatever he wants and if there is something wrong with me for being hurt by something he is going out of his way to look at. I do not own this man. But I would appreciate his respect and honesty. I am exhausted. And I am struggling to centre myself right now..
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My dearest, I am so saddened that you seem to be hurting so deeply.
You must remember that it is ok to be off of your center! To have day where you are blissfully aligned and days where you feel like you are sitting in a pile of your own ashes of the idea of who you used to be or whom you want to become amongst your struggles! I too have had similar struggles. You must surrender! To it all! Immediately. You are in control. You mustn’t rely on another for happiness. This is up to you and you alone. Focus on you, send your partner an abundance of love, giving him no good reason to find fault and shift your focus to your center beig oncemore. You owe it to yourself. You are wise and you are precious. Polish yourself for you are a sacred gem. You are needed in this realm of existance and are a part of this whole experience. You know what to do. Do it now.
All of my love! *with you*
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